128/365 Elburt's Final Word (If you really knew me Final Installment)

While I would hate to admit it, my cousin Heathburt may have been right about this being a most spectacular garden. It seems my garden's mistress may have understated her gardening abilities in an earlier post this week and I too may have had unnecessary doubts. I have spent much of the past weeks observing her, and one can get to know one's garden mistress quite well over a short amount of time. I would like to be clear on two things before I share what I have learned: 1- Garden Gnomes, especially one as prestigious as myself, would never neglect my garden duties to make note of these learned things, they have been learned over the course of my garden overseeing duties; and 2 - Do not mistake my observant nature for spying. Spying is an undignified endeavor and as I mentioned I am just observant.

If you really knew my garden mistress you would know: she pretty much loves all flowers but has an affinity for tubers and bulbs; she is (thankfully) pretty strict about where the four-legged beasts uh - "hurry" as she calls it and keeps them out of the garden; she hates the smell and taste of all things purple grape, rootbeer, and melon; she loves to sit and dangle her feet in the side of the pool; volunteers for make a wish; she loves to hear the marching band practice and the pee-wee football game announcer as it wafts into the backyard; thinks that her sisters are the most amazing women; tells people she has been swimming all day when she means she has been on the floating thing; still licks the beaters when making cookies or cakes; that we have an obligation to help those who are willing to help themselves; she is most happy out in the garden - especially if the radio is playing (although her singing leaves a bit to be desired); she loves when friends and family come over to eat, swim, or just as you yanks call it "hang out"; worries due to her family history that she is likely to get breast cancer;  learned long ago that "brutally honest" is just a cover for being "brutally rude" - today she is just honest; she tolerates the "icky" bugs that help her garden but are merciless when it comes to the slugs; loves jewish food; everyday she can't believe she is married to the most wonderful man - and certainly can't believe it has been twenty years; that there is not much on this earth that is worth having if it means hurting someone's feelings or intentionally makes them feel bad; prefers to be barefoot; is deathly allergic to bee stings (which is why the barefoot thing is a problem; tries to keep the drama to a minimum - mainly by surrounding herself with wonderful people; is religious about applying sunscreen and wearing the most appropriately Queen approved wide brimmed gardening hat; secretly hopes that her friends and family will do their own "if you knew me" so she would know them better; loves to teach (and really only wants to teach when her partner in crime Sherri is involved); watched the most recent royal wedding as she did Charles and Diana's 30 some years ago; has thankfully learned that one can not withdraw more than she has deposited in not only bank accounts, but in friendships as well; she is a sexual assault survivor; that she reads the newspaper cover to cover, and pretty much anything else she can get her hands on; doesn't mind left overs - once; thinks sundays are the best day of the week; her favorite color is purple; she hopes that her loved ones know how much they have meant to her and works to make sure they don't forget; and lastly while I am not spying but just happen to catch a glimpse inside the house - she is happy more often than she is sad, she is grateful more often than she is wistful, and that she is confident and content more often than anything. There isn't much more that a Garden Gnome could want in a garden mistress.